Told by FennyWhen Daisy can’t sleep at night, I stay awake. Today I’m telling you what helps both of us on nights like that.
During the day, Daisy is the braver of the two of us. But sometimes, in the middle of the night, she lies awake. Outside it’s quiet, and that’s exactly why it gets so loud in her head. Then she asks me things like: “What if everything goes wrong?” Maybe you know that feeling too.
Why anxiety gets so big at night
During the day there are a thousand things to distract us. At night all of that falls away. The worries that stayed quietly in the background all day suddenly have the whole stage to themselves. On top of that, you can’t get anything done at night. You can’t call anyone, sort anything out, fix anything. You just lie there, and your thoughts go round and round.
Often you don’t even know exactly what you’re afraid of. Daisy told me that once, and I said: You don’t have to know. Anxiety is a feeling, not proof. Just because something feels threatening at night doesn’t mean it will happen.
One small step for tonight
You don’t have to think the fear away. That rarely works anyway. Instead, try something very small: Put a hand on your heart. Breathe in slowly and breathe out even more slowly. Three times. Breathing out slowly tells your body that it isn’t in danger right now. It’s not a magic trick, but it makes the night a little bit softer.
And then you can pray, even if you can’t find the words. One sentence is enough: “Lord, I can’t sleep. Stay with me.”
Jesus knows nights like these
There is a night in the Bible that was harder than any night you or I know. It’s the night before the crucifixion. Jesus goes with his friends into the garden of Gethsemane, and the Bible says very openly that he “began to be sorrowful and severely troubled” ✦Matthew 26:37✦. Then he says something that moves me every time:
My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here, and watch with me.
On his hardest night, the Son of God didn’t want to be alone. He asked his friends to stay awake. That means: it’s not weakness if you need someone at night. And it means that Jesus knows exactly what a night like that feels like. He isn’t sitting far away, watching. He knows it from the inside.
His friends fell asleep that night, by the way ✦Matthew 26:40✦. God doesn’t sleep. Psalm 121 says: “Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep” ✦Psalm 121:4✦. I’m a dog, and sooner or later even I fall asleep. He doesn’t.
Cast your worries on him
My favorite verse for nights like these is in the first letter of Peter:
casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you.
The Greek word for “cast” is rare. It appears only one other time in the whole New Testament: when the disciples threw their cloaks onto the colt Jesus rode into Jerusalem ✦Luke 19:35✦. They didn’t carefully lay the cloaks down. They threw them, and Jesus sat on them. That’s how your worries are allowed to land on him. You don’t have to sort them neatly before you hand them over.
And when you finally fall asleep, what David wrote is true for you:
In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety.
When the nights don’t stop
If anxiety keeps you awake night after night, please talk to someone about it: a person you trust, your doctor, a therapist. That is not a sign of weak faith. Jesus himself asked for company on his night. If you need support, someone to talk to, if you don’t want to be alone or have no one you could tell: in the US you can call or text 988, and in the UK Samaritans are there for you on 116 123, day and night. And wherever you are, findahelpline.com finds the right number near you.
Daisy usually sleeps well these days. And when she doesn’t, I stay awake. You’re not alone with your night.
Bible quotations: World English Bible (public domain). Source on “cast” (epiriptō): Bible Hub, Strong’s 1977.
