When panic comes

Told by DaisyPanic feels like a storm right inside you. I know what that’s like, and I know who’s in the boat with you.

Fenny is big and strong, and still I once saw him like this: his heart was racing, he could hardly breathe, and he looked at me with big eyes and asked: “What’s happening to me?” I sat down really close to him and said: “I’m here. You’re safe.” He answered: “It doesn’t feel like it.”

That is exactly what panic is. It feels like your life is in danger, even though you’re just sitting on the sofa.

What happens in a panic attack

In a panic attack, the body switches to alarm as if a predator were standing in front of it. Your heart beats faster, your breathing gets shallow, your hands shake or tingle, and sometimes you feel dizzy. All of this is very unpleasant and very frightening. But it’s your body sounding the alarm far too loudly.

The most important thing I told Fenny back then: Panic feels dangerous. But it passes. A panic attack usually peaks after a few minutes and then fades. You don’t have to defeat it. You only have to let it pass.

One small step for the moment

When panic comes, it helps to bring your mind back to the here and now. There’s a simple exercise you can do anywhere:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can hear
• 3 things you can feel, like your feet on the floor
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

Name them slowly, out loud if you like. While you’re searching, your mind has to deal with the present instead of the storm. At number three, Fenny noticed that I was leaning against his ear, and that’s when it got easier.

Peter panicked too

Peter was a fisherman ✦Matthew 4:18✦. He had known the Sea of Galilee, its waves and its wind, all his life. And still Matthew tells of a night when exactly what happens in a panic attack happened to him.

The disciples are in the middle of the lake, the wind is against them, and between three and six in the morning, in the “fourth watch of the night”, Jesus comes to them across the water ✦Matthew 14:25✦. Peter climbs out of the boat and walks toward him on the water. Then it happens:

I love this verse because it’s so honest. Peter wasn’t a coward. He was the only one who got out of the boat at all. But when he saw the wind, he sank. And his prayer was one of the shortest in the whole Bible: “Lord, save me!” That’s all it takes.

A hand that grabs hold at once

Now comes the most beautiful part:

Immediately. Jesus doesn’t give Peter a lecture while he’s sinking. He doesn’t wait until Peter has calmed down. He grabs hold at once and holds on tight. He only asks his question once Peter is already safe in his hand. And one verse later it says: “When they got up into the boat, the wind ceased” ✦Matthew 14:32✦.

When panic comes, you can pray exactly like Peter. And you can hold on to the line from the Psalms that David wrote when he himself was in great danger:

Notice that David doesn’t write: “I’m never afraid.” He writes: “When I am afraid.” The fear is there, and trust is still possible.

When panic comes often

If you have panic attacks often, please talk to your doctor. First make sure your heart is healthy, and then there is good help, for example in therapy. Panic attacks are very treatable, and looking for help is not a sign of weak faith. If you need support, someone to talk to, if you don’t want to be alone or have no one you could tell: in the US you can call or text 988, and in the UK Samaritans are there for you on 116 123, day and night. And wherever you are, findahelpline.com finds the right number near you.

Fenny is doing fine, by the way. And when the storm comes back, we sit together in the boat, and Jesus is right there with us.

Bible quotations: World English Bible (public domain).